A Word From The Management

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Memory, All Alone in the Moonlight”, sung by a human at the highest possible volume in a public restaurant while affecting the nervous tremolo of an even-toed ungulate of the order Artiodactyla is at best a bizarre event to witness.

But when such exceptionally weird goat-singing behaviour draws admirers it becomes even more perplexing, to the point of utter befuddlement. When the admirers are attractive women, and when one of those women is The Management’s wife, the bewilderment reaches a new and heretofore unknown zenith.

There shall be, henceforth, a strict moratorium upon any kind of ‘goat singing’ while The Management’s wife is present in the vicinity of any member of Quinzy, no matter how much Andrew Lloyd Webber songs benefit from the vocal interpretations of a ruminant.

The Management

A Word From The Management

For those of you with so little to do that you visit www.quinzy.ca you'll no doubt have taken notice of the 'News' update of 24 February, 2010. The Management wishes to make it crystal clear that we have not had anything to do with the composition or posting of this recent news item, as will be obvious to anyone skimming it who possesses basic skills in English grammar, style and usage. It reads, to wit: "...Sign up for our email list...and get 'ADMIT', the third track off of our most recent EP 'SELF-DEFENSE'!

"Off of"? Someone seriously WROTE "off of'" in a sentence meant to publicize the band's worthiness for attention by the general public? The word is FROM, not "off of", nor "offa", nor "ugh" or any other Neanderthal onomatopoeia.

The Management

A Word From The Management

It has come to my attention that an unnamed member of Quinzy was highly intoxicated last weekend and irresponsibly lost his cell phone somewhere in the midst of the dark snowy night. When he woke the next morning (a foggy mess by the way -- serves him right) he retraced his wobbly steps and found that his principle method of connection to the outside world (his Blackberry) lay utterly wrecked, a pile of pitiful smashed circuitry, the victim of what appeared to be a hit-and-run by a truck with winter tires.

The identity of the offending truck is not known, and there is some suspicion that the abovementioned member of Quinzy may well have driven over his own phone for a lark, while in a state of unseemly intoxication. Shocking irresponsibility such as this expample is oft-times considered ‘humorous’ by the members of the group. The Management disagrees.

The same member of Quinzy must now go on tour with the band and play two (2) performances at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. As the principle telephone contact person to the entire 21st Olympiad, this Quinzy member has some explaining to do, as The Management wishes to know how he plans to make contact, should it be required. Luckily it is currently still 'burning season' on the west coast should he wish to attempt a smoke signal.

Henceforth all PDAs, cell phones, daytimers & handheld devices shall be affixed to the coats, jackets, or other outer-garments of all Quinzy members by method of a string or piece of yarn, threaded through the sleeves, and taped, glued or otherwise cemented to the device in question.

The Management

A Word From The Management

Let it hereafter be known that abstract, shaky crayon sketches of stage trousers, best described as hallucinogenic in nature, cannot in any reasonable sense be interpreted by The Management as an accurate depiction of possible stage worthy clothing, and may not be submitted for approval by The Management. Also, to answer the question of one Quinzy member: No – Culottes are not an acceptable pant. (Are you even a member of the same species as the rest of us? Culottes? For real?)

Any further attempts to get my goat will result in my specifically sabotaging your monitor mix. I will instruct the engineer to play Leonard Cohen 8 tracks through your foldback system while you attempt to sing in tune. Good luck.

The Management

A Word From the Management

Let it be known that one Jason Pankratz (of the musical group Quinzy-- www.quinzy.ca ) is hereby accused of irresponsibly inciting rebellion among certain youths in his home country of Canada. Mr. Pankratz’s outrageous, outlandish and completely unnecessary choice of trouser for the ‘Quinzmas V’ concert (held at the West End Cultural Centre in Winnipeg, Manitoba in December 2009) not to mention his ghastly shirt, has caused at least one young person (namely my own son) to ‘copycat’ and use Mr. Pankratz as a most regrettable ‘role model’.

Red dungaree trousers contrasted by clingy mucus-coloured shirt (of indeterminate fabric and origin) cannot in any normal sense be interpreted as appropriate clothing for anyone over the age of 18 months and I hereby demand that Mr. Pankratz speak personally with my poor, misguided son and explain that he had hurriedly dressed after an unfortunate head injury that left his sense of taste, style, aesthetic and artistic/visual balance temporarily non-functional. Furthermore, it is also of the great concern to me that my son honestly believes a cash expenditure of between $75-$100 is entirely appropriate to secure ownership of such a trouser.

This is nothing less than a nefarious plan by Mr. Pankratz, and by silently assenting association all of Quinzy, to undermine my authority, as witnessed by the entire group's cavalier attitude towards this egregious provocation.

As a result, all trousers to be worn on stage must first be submitted for donning-approval (in writing), accompanied by photograhic depiction or illustration, or some other form of visual aid by which The Management may effectively decide said trouser's suitability for public viewing. Audio description, whether digital, analogue or telephonic is not permitted as you bastards are so cheeky you'd lie outright and not give it another thought.

Additonally, there is now in effect a strict & permanent moratorium upon short pants, butt floss thongs, tighty-wighties, Grandfatherly boxers bedecked in patterns such as hearts, kitty-kats, happy faces, flames, race cars, sheep & ducks. Also completely forbidden are any kind of Superhero costumes of characters generally known (ie: Ironman) or entirely made up (ie: that goddamn 'Spider Claus' who disrupted the show at Quinzmas V).

Signed,

The Management